I have had periods throughout my life when my anxiety levels have been high. It was a huge relief when I realised that these feelings of stress weren’t logical, and were just my body’s reaction to too much cortisol over too long a period. In my lines of work as a support worker and foster carer you have to accept that stress is par for the course. However, last year was abnormally stressful in both roles. It was consistently and persistently horrible in a variety of ways. I felt my stress levels rising, and tried my usual techniques to calm myself, but I didn’t have long enough time between each blow to recover. I found myself having extreme physical stress reactions to something as small as going into a shop.
I remember one time in particular, standing there in the middle of the entry way to the shop unable to decide whether I needed a trolley or a basket. Everything seemed too loud, too big, too close. The whole word was tilting and splintering off at crazy angles. I tried to remember what I was there for, but my brain just felt like a cold, lifeless lump of clay that wouldn’t respond to my desperate attempts to activate it to save me. My chest felt like it had been torn into a huge vacuum so I would never be able to get enough air, and without enough air, I was going to float away. The feeling only lasted a few minutes, but it was horrible, and from that point in May, until December when I finally sought medical help, and was diagnosed with anxiety, I didn’t feel like myself again.
I knew I needed to change my life, but I had no idea how. The only thing that felt ‘solid’ and hopeful was when I imagined a life in a sunny country, writing, but I had no idea how to start making that a reality. I was having difficulty sleeping, and felt disconnected from myself. I started to dream vividly, and started to write my dreams down in the form of a story. I found that writing on the nights I couldn't sleep calmed me and centred me. The story flowed and I became fascinated by what my characters would do next. At Christmas time I was browsing the net looking for information on self- publishing and how to find an agent, when I stumbled on the advert for Britain's Next Bestseller. I immediately loved the idea of the reader getting to choose which books were published. I submitted my synopsis, and they asked to see my manuscript. On my Birthday I received the email offering me the opportunity to be a launch author for the imprint.
Now my book page is live on their site, and as long as I can get 250 preorders Darkly Dreaming will be published this year. You can preorder at: https://britainsnextbestseller.co.uk/book/index/DarklyDreaming
Anyone who preorders will get a range of thank yous- P.M me your address and I'll send you a signed Darkly Dreaming business card & a little Darkly Dreaming gift, everyone who preorders will be entered into a gold ticket draw to win a limited edition print of the cover art, signed by me, and the artist, Owen Claxton. Everyone who preorders is also offered the opportunity to be mentioned in all the printed copies of Darkly Dreaming in thanks, and you'll get your copy 2 weeks before the general release. And, most importantly, your help will have given a writer get their first big break.
I remember one time in particular, standing there in the middle of the entry way to the shop unable to decide whether I needed a trolley or a basket. Everything seemed too loud, too big, too close. The whole word was tilting and splintering off at crazy angles. I tried to remember what I was there for, but my brain just felt like a cold, lifeless lump of clay that wouldn’t respond to my desperate attempts to activate it to save me. My chest felt like it had been torn into a huge vacuum so I would never be able to get enough air, and without enough air, I was going to float away. The feeling only lasted a few minutes, but it was horrible, and from that point in May, until December when I finally sought medical help, and was diagnosed with anxiety, I didn’t feel like myself again.
I knew I needed to change my life, but I had no idea how. The only thing that felt ‘solid’ and hopeful was when I imagined a life in a sunny country, writing, but I had no idea how to start making that a reality. I was having difficulty sleeping, and felt disconnected from myself. I started to dream vividly, and started to write my dreams down in the form of a story. I found that writing on the nights I couldn't sleep calmed me and centred me. The story flowed and I became fascinated by what my characters would do next. At Christmas time I was browsing the net looking for information on self- publishing and how to find an agent, when I stumbled on the advert for Britain's Next Bestseller. I immediately loved the idea of the reader getting to choose which books were published. I submitted my synopsis, and they asked to see my manuscript. On my Birthday I received the email offering me the opportunity to be a launch author for the imprint.
Now my book page is live on their site, and as long as I can get 250 preorders Darkly Dreaming will be published this year. You can preorder at: https://britainsnextbestseller.co.uk/book/index/DarklyDreaming
Anyone who preorders will get a range of thank yous- P.M me your address and I'll send you a signed Darkly Dreaming business card & a little Darkly Dreaming gift, everyone who preorders will be entered into a gold ticket draw to win a limited edition print of the cover art, signed by me, and the artist, Owen Claxton. Everyone who preorders is also offered the opportunity to be mentioned in all the printed copies of Darkly Dreaming in thanks, and you'll get your copy 2 weeks before the general release. And, most importantly, your help will have given a writer get their first big break.